dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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