I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
