Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
