You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize