you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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