Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
