Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
