Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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