would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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