And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
