i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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