Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
