dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
