i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
