PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
