Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
