If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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