Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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