I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
