I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My Sexting was not on an AP level
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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