I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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