Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
