At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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