I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize