Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The air taste purple.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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