I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I wear drunk well.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize