If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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