"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
