I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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