I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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