Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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