Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
