chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
