She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
