The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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