i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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