like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
