I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
