I just saw a hot homeless man
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
