I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
