yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My cat gives me a boner
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
