There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
