I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
