He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize