I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize