I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
