he told me I talked like a deaf person
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
