She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
