I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
