Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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