We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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