are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
