I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
