He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
