id be glad to
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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