She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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