i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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