I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have fence marks all over my body
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
