Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just cut my nipple shaving
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
