overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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