i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
