Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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