got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
